During my childhood days I would dream poems, thoughts, and feelings. I would wake up in the middle of the night and write them down. I would let the poem, thought, or feeling sit in my journal, until I was emotionally called back to look at it again. When the desire to re-read what was written, came to my heart, I would go and read it again. I would let it sit in my heart and figure out what it meant to me.
Sometimes it was a lesson I had been trying to figure out. Sometimes it was clarification of a dilemma I was carrying with me, for a while, and sometimes it was simply a poem. This blessing carried through until my young adulthood and then the dreams that woke me up, stopped.
One evening in March 2024, decades from the last time I felt this pull to write, I was awakened in the middle of the night with that feeling, again. I had to get up and write.
It began as a stream of consciousness. Thoughts that I could not stop thinking. The thoughts flowed through my fingers, onto the keyboard in rapid succession. It felt manic for a while, for I hadn’t had this inclination to write, in decades, but as the words flowed from heart, to brain, to keyboard, to computer, it felt like I was breathing again, feeling free again, feeling alive again. It was 3 hours until I looked at the clock again. It had been three hours, and yet it felt, to me like time was standing still. It felt as though the Universe was, once again, giving me the need, desire, and permission to let my words flow. I was so grateful that “She came home last night,” this unprovoked, unquenchable thirst, to let my feelings fly, and for them to land wherever they were supposed to land. (My first inclination to maybe begin a blog).
This is my personal story. You may have all of it, some of it, or none of it.