As I sit here, a 58-year-old woman reflecting on a life filled with challenges, growth, love, and unexpected joy, I realize just how far I’ve come. Life, as I have experienced it, has been both a wise teacher and a demanding taskmaster. It has given me moments of profound love and deep despair, but each moment has come with its own lesson. Here are a few reflections on the wisdom I have gathered over the years.
31 years ago, I became a mother to twins born prematurely. One of my beautiful boys was diagnosed with cerebral palsy and a non-verbal learning disability. From that moment, I began to learn the true meaning of love. The love that fills you up until it spills over into every fiber of your being, and the love that forces you to find strength you never knew you had. The kind of love that makes you advocate fiercely, stand strong in the face of challenges, and remain endlessly patient.
Having a child with special needs has taught me that resilience is not a destination, but a journey. There were days when I felt utterly overwhelmed, but in those moments, I learned to see the world through different eyes. I learned that love is not always about doing, fixing, or achieving. Sometimes, it is simply about being present, listening, and understanding.
My first marriage was with a man who was emotionally abusive. For years, I believed that I had to endure, to hold everything together for the sake of my family. I carried so much of the weight alone, believing it was my duty. But life has a way of teaching us through pain. That experience taught me the critical lesson of self-worth. I learned that I am deserving of respect, of kindness, and of a love that uplifts rather than diminishes.
Leaving that marriage was one of the hardest decisions of my life, but it opened the door to finding the love of my life. A man who loves me for who I am, without conditions or limitations. In finding him, I learned that love is not supposed to break you; it is supposed to help you bloom.
Recently, I have discovered a new lesson: the freedom that comes with allowing myself to “let them.” To let others step in, to let others help, to let go of the need to control every little thing. For so long, I believed that I had to carry everything alone—that I had to be the strong one, the fixer, the doer. But in my journey, I’ve come to understand that I am allowed to rest, to receive, to allow others to take some of the burdens I have carried for so long.
This realization has been liberating. It has taught me that I am not defined by what I do for others, but by who I am. And who I am is enough.
Now, I find peace in the simplicity of the present moment. I practice chair yoga, meditate, and ground myself to the earth without the pressure. I have learned that the beauty of life often lies in the moments we allow ourselves to truly be present—in the laughter of my sons, in the quiet strength of my heart, in the wind that touches my face.
I have come to appreciate that I don’t have to prove my worthiness by how much I do or accomplish. I find joy in the small things—the smell of fresh air, the sound of leaves rustling, the feeling of the earth beneath my feet. I know now that I am allowed to simply be.
My journey has been anything but linear. I have been a mother, a caretaker, a warrior, a survivor, a lover, and a learner. I have learned that it is okay to make mistakes, to start over, to forgive myself, and to grow. My sons are my greatest teachers. They have taught me patience, unconditional love, and the importance of living authentically.
I am grateful for every lesson, every tear, every moment of doubt, and every moment of clarity. I am grateful for the love that has found me, for the strength that has grown within me, and for the freedom to let go of what no longer serves me.
If I could offer one piece of wisdom from my 58 years, it would be this: allow yourself to let go. Let go of the need to carry it all, to control it all, to be it all. Allow yourself to be vulnerable, to accept help, and to love yourself as fiercely as you love others.
Life is a beautiful, unpredictable journey, and we are all just doing our best to navigate it with grace, compassion, and courage. And sometimes, the greatest gift we can give ourselves is permission to simply be.
May we all find the strength to embrace our journey, with all its ups and downs, and the courage to love ourselves through it all.
These are my thoughts. You may have all of them, some of them, or none of them